The ties that bind us
I know there’s a fair amount of “Oh, a celebrity died, everyone post about on facebook and be sad for the moment you find out and then move on” in our lives; I was sad to hear about Amy Winehouse, but I didn’t necessarily feel any sense of personal loss.
Hearing about Whitney Houston, honestly hurts my heart. Her voice, her songs were soundtracks to a great deal of my childhood, my teenhood and very particular parts of my adulthood. I spent about 30% of my childhood dancing around my room and singing into hairbrush to all of Whitney’s songs. Her first album was my first tape that was MY tape and no one else’s.
When my friend Douglas, asked me in my early 20’s, “What is it that you want in someone? I mean, what you do really, really want?” I answered in all seriousness: “I wanna dance with somebody.” He guffawed, but I was like, “Yeah, I know, but actually that IS what I want. I just wanna dance with somebody. That song is how I want to feel about someone.” When Clay and I got serious, I made that song his individual ring on my phone.
My dad loved Whitney.
Some of my favorite moments with some of my dearest friends involved Whitney’s music; dancing, karaoke, roadtrips, silly prancing around our apartments without pants.
I realize, rereading that, how silly all this might sound.
Despite that silliness, I have always felt a genuine affection and true admiration for Whitney. Even in her “crack is wack” hot-mess of a time; I wanted her to get better. I was sad to see such talent and grace in such a state. And, now that she’s dead, there are the obvious statements re: the way we worship celebrities, the way we consume and use them, the way we don’t have any genuine connection to who they are as people and vice versa. Whatever. I feel genuine sadness at the news of her death. Rest in peace, Whitney. Thank you for all of the joy your music brought into my life.
